quarta-feira, 26 de abril de 2006

That's Life o-oh

An item of clothing will always shrink down 2 sizes between the peg and the changing room
The most attractive man at the party is gay
The most attractive woman at the party is your employer's wife
Nobody feels self-confident in an elevator
Once past 30, you start judging how good a pub or club was by whether you were able to find a seat or not
The strongest adhesive in the world is that used on the parking penalties which traffic wardens stick over the driver's side of your windscreen
It's impossible to look sexy whilst eating spaghetti
No matter what your age, the temptation to leave your name in wet cement is irresistible
You will first meet your soul mate whilst wearing old underwear
Every urban short-cut has speed humps
No matter how carefully a woman times an exotic holiday, she can guarantee to be menstrual through it.
On any given roll of film, there is always a picture of the floor
Parcels are only delivered when you're naked
Chewing gum only appears on pavements when the weather is hot
Children are the only people able to remove a childproof cap
For a woman, the chances of getting laid increase greatly if she doesn't shave her legs for a few weeks
Children, dogs and cats will always gravitate towards the people who least like them
Heat waves only happen when you are out of the country
The darker the clothes, the more likely it is that the wearer works with computers
Shouting is no substitute for learning a language when trying to communicate abroad
The only real benefit to growing old is being able to pretend that you're deaf
The only people who use gyms are those who don't need to
Nobody over the age of 15 looks cool on a skateboard
There is always one spoonful of food left on the plate when you reach the point where you couldn't eat another spoonful
If given unlimited room, tourists will always choose to congregate right at the bottom of escalators
Pensioners always travel at rush hour
It is impossible to look tough whilst drinking through a straw
The urge to cough is always strongest in a library
As the age of a man increases, so does the desire to own power-tools
"It's only a game" if you lost

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